好久没写blog了，那两个月在家过得平淡及安稳的日子让我的心平静了许多也少了些烦恼，日子真是过得舒服又自在。谢谢你，我的家让我再累也找得到一个停下来休息的地方。谢谢我的家人给了我一切的一切，一个包容我的爸爸，一个一直无条件付出的妈妈，一个凡事都顺着我的弟弟及一个爱和我吵嘴但很贴心的妹妹，真的很感激也很感谢你们。心再累，日子再难熬都好只要想起你们还是会坚强的走下去，不轻言放弃。
爸爸你的一句最近过得好吗。。。。怎样，让我很感动，而且感触良多。。。
一个人在外面过了七年，很多时候真的很想说我过得很累很辛苦。。。。但还是不想你们担心所以还是选择自己面对。
其实我应该感恩和满足的，也许身边发生的事只是小事一桩罢了，何足挂齿呢。。。

i feel..........

My soul is no longer with me as it already fly back. Most of the time i have strong feelings want to go home. Most of the time i feel lonely, i feel sad, tired and lost. I am lonely as no body care of me. I am too nervous to face my lonely life and the truth behind lies. I am tired to guess what is right what is wrong, who can be trust and who will betray me. I am sad when i found that the person i care started to forget me and abandon me. I am lost when i am lack of confidence with what i am doing. I am lost as i don't know i live so hard for what.But everything is going to end soon follow with end of this semester.

选择

曾经他是我们最相信最依赖的朋友，给我们带来了温暖，
但我们渐渐远离他了，也许是对他彻底的失望了，
也许是明白我们的立场和关系变了，回不到原来的位子，
因为知道他的他不喜欢我们和他来往所以我们选择了放弃对他的依赖，
因为知道会让他活得很累所以我们选择了不打扰他的生活，
因为明白我们的出现会为他添麻烦， 所以我们选择远离他，
我们选择自立一点，坚强的过少了他的生活，尽量减少向他求助，
我们都知道这样做对他来说很残忍，
但只有这样才能减轻他的负担，让他过得比较快乐，
只有这样做我们才不会曾为罪人，
也只有这样做才不会让一切都变成是我们的错，
请原谅我们做了这残忍的选择。


我不知道现在的他快乐吗幸福吗？
但无论快乐，幸福与否，我们彼此都做了选择不是吗？

记得

你还记得你答应过我的事吗？
总是在答应我之后又忘了对我许下的承诺，
你是无心的还是我对你来说并不重要，
所以我的一切你不需要记得。

而你又还记得我的存在吗？
总是在寂寞和需要我的时候才想起我的存在，
你是无心的还是因为我并不是你的第一顺位，
所以我的存在你不需要记得。

也许你并不是不记得，只是你有难言之隐，
也许你并不是忘了我，只是还没有想起我。

我在你们还没记得我之前一个人过的还不错，
如果真的不记得，就算了，
不需要突然想起我，记得我，
因为你的突然记得会让我很失落。
请不要突然记得我的存在来打扰我的生活，
因为你的突然打扰会让我的心很受伤。

waiting

My flight delay again, it suppose depart at 5.35pm but it delay until 6.15pm. Then i have to wait, i had been try waiting for two hours before so this condition consider not bad already......at the end i arrive at LCCT around 8.00pm. May be i am too "lucky" already, usually if i take the 5.30pm flight, sure it will be delay one....how come? Just hope that the day i go back to Kuching, the flight won't delay again.

属于

“我坚持的都值得坚持吗？
我所相信的就是真的吗？
如果我敢追求我就敢拥有吗？
而如果都算了不要呢”
（~属于~）

对于我来说， 我坚持的都已经失去了坚持的意义，
我所相信的也不是真的，
因为我不敢追求，所以我也不敢拥有，
现在对于我来说一切都算了，
我只想找回属于我的平静与安宁。

I m just a failure

Still have 4 hours and 15 minutes i will say goodbye to my 21st years old, refresh back what i have done during the last whole year, i can summary it with only one sentence- My 21st years old ended in failure .I am so unhappy, lonely and disappointed with all the things happened around me. I don't know why i am fail to make my life become more joyful and meaningful. My heart is broken and tired, is very painful.I fail to being a good friend, a good sister, good daughter and fail to be who i am. I just pass my time like that,din pay attention in class, lack of confidence and i even started to loose my dream.I do not trust people anymore just like my friend said inside believe is lie, now only i realize that. This was not what i suppose to do for getting a good future.I can't stand anymore, with the sadness and painful.I know i will collapse one day if i continue like that. Who can help me to escape from this kind of life? I know only i can help myself.I really hope that my heart will recover soon.I desire a meaningful life and a brighter future.I know i can do it if i put more effort to everything.I don't want my life ended in failure anymore.