waiting

My flight delay again, it suppose depart at 5.35pm but it delay until 6.15pm. Then i have to wait, i had been try waiting for two hours before so this condition consider not bad already......at the end i arrive at LCCT around 8.00pm. May be i am too "lucky" already, usually if i take the 5.30pm flight, sure it will be delay one....how come? Just hope that the day i go back to Kuching, the flight won't delay again.

属于

“我坚持的都值得坚持吗？
我所相信的就是真的吗？
如果我敢追求我就敢拥有吗？
而如果都算了不要呢”
（~属于~）

对于我来说， 我坚持的都已经失去了坚持的意义，
我所相信的也不是真的，
因为我不敢追求，所以我也不敢拥有，
现在对于我来说一切都算了，
我只想找回属于我的平静与安宁。

I m just a failure

Still have 4 hours and 15 minutes i will say goodbye to my 21st years old, refresh back what i have done during the last whole year, i can summary it with only one sentence- My 21st years old ended in failure .I am so unhappy, lonely and disappointed with all the things happened around me. I don't know why i am fail to make my life become more joyful and meaningful. My heart is broken and tired, is very painful.I fail to being a good friend, a good sister, good daughter and fail to be who i am. I just pass my time like that,din pay attention in class, lack of confidence and i even started to loose my dream.I do not trust people anymore just like my friend said inside believe is lie, now only i realize that. This was not what i suppose to do for getting a good future.I can't stand anymore, with the sadness and painful.I know i will collapse one day if i continue like that. Who can help me to escape from this kind of life? I know only i can help myself.I really hope that my heart will recover soon.I desire a meaningful life and a brighter future.I know i can do it if i put more effort to everything.I don't want my life ended in failure anymore.

被遗弃的小孩

我和朋友常说我们是被遗弃的小孩，没人会关心我们，在乎我们的感受与想法，哭泣时也没人会为我们擦眼泪。我们就像是被遗忘在衣橱角落的旧衣服。我想说当被遗弃的小孩并不可怜，因为只有被遗弃的小孩才懂得坚强，跌倒了会自己爬起来，勇敢的往前走。也只有被遗弃的小孩才看清楚现实的残酷，更珍惜拥有的幸福。往后的日子还很长，被遗弃的小孩们，不要再躲在角落默默掉泪了，是时候过回你该过的生活了，寻找属于你的幸福吧。加油！
ps:谢谢你们在我几乎崩溃的时候为我擦眼泪，给我安慰让我知道我并不是被遗弃的小孩。

改变，得到，失去

最近总觉的一切变了
身边所熟悉的人，事与物突然变得陌生
陌生得一切仿佛不存在
陌生得我自己也无法相信
到底是我无法相信，还是我不愿意接受
到底是谁改变了谁，是大家都变了还是我变了
在这一切都改变后
我得到了什么，失去了什么？


我得到的是我所承受不起的失落
而同时
我也失去了一颗热忱与真挚的心

Guilty

I have received an email from my supervisor, with an attachment of my FYP guideline. When i read the email, i felt guilty as until now my FYP progression is slow, i even din put many effort on it. Start from now, I have to put more effort on it, and thank you sir.

Lost passion? Lazy?

I feel that i have lost my passion in life. I cannot found any thing that make me feel interested. Since the first day i come back to Kuching,i just feel tired, and now already second month but i still tired. Don't want to touch my book, my assignment, my FYP and even lazy to go out. Feel tired to go to class, tired in manage relationship with people just tired with everything. Is that i really lost my passion or i just find an excuse for my laziness. Hope that i will recover soon, i should not and also can not live like that. I still have to put effort for my great future. Come back chinyee, come back my heart and soul.